The Presidents Address Thank you herd, everyone thank you, thank you. For all of you who voted for me and for those who wanted to but felt pressured from the Northern side I say Thank you! It's only been a few days but I have to say it is great to be the boss, and great to finally have the title to ensure the respect from my constituents.
You know, it's been a whirlwind of activity these first few days. We've enacted a major economic recovery package, we passed a budget, we forged a new path in our pasture, and I’m proud to say that I’m the only president in herd history to pass an anti-trailering law (and it is not because I’m afraid of trailers). On top of that, I've also reversed the ban on summer oat supplements. I believe, and most of you would agree, we need to fatten up year round.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself. First things first, I would like to take this opportunity to announce my pick for Herd Vice President. It will come as no surprise that Ruby, our youngest mare will be holding that position. She will be an outstanding VP and is the only South Pasture mare that likes me. I tear up a little bit when I think back to that day that I spoke to Ruby and said, “You and I can do wonderful things together.” And she didn’t say, “No”.
Second and I'm sure you all have noticed that in the last few days, we've grown the South Pasture Herd Party by infusing it with new energy and bringing in a fresh, new face - Freida May. Frieda, welcome to the right side, I mean South side.
Most importantly I want to talk about change... I want to talk about a new, warmer, fuzzier herd... AND a merger. We can't just talk to our friends. We all know this, as hard as it is, we also have to talk to our enemies, and I have done exactly that.
After hours of negotiations, the Northern Herd has agreed to join us!! And, of course they have agreed to respect me as their leader.
Change isn’t easy. Change never is. So, in the next 100 days of my of my administration, I plan to cut the tension by bringing a third round bale feeder.
In the next 100 days, I will meet with the SDYR leaders who rule over these pastures with an iron fist, and negotiate a second day of rest for us all.
In the next 100 days, our merging and our outreach will be so outstanding that even Charlie and Gideon, from the Eastern Herd will consider joining us.
In the next 100 days I will hire Sissy, from the Northern Herd, as my bodyguard and give her the power and authority to crush all who would challenge me.
Finally, I believe that my next 100 days will be so successful I will be able to complete them in 72 days. And on the 73rd day, I too shall rest. So, I offer you my thanks, I offer you my support, and I look forward to working with you and answering to you and the SDYR people as we seek a more perfect pasture in the months and years ahead.
Thanks so much, everybody. Thank you.
Sincerely, Taz, President of Everything
SAMPSON DEMANDS A RECOUNT! And claims not only was he not invited to vote but, that talks with the Southern herd have NOT come to a peaceful agreement. Taz is NOT the best looking horse and Sissy is NOT available or interested in the appointment.
Sampson does, however, agree with the summer oats ban reversal. “His only good move” states the Northern Herd boss, referring to Taz’s opposition to the ban on summer oat supplementing.
Election a Hoax ‘President’ Taz makes public apology A plea agreement was reached in the ‘Taz President of Everything’ Hoax.
After his initial attempts to pass the false election off as a joke, Taz took the high trail and formally apologized. “I am deeply sorry for misleading the herds, but would like to take a moment to remind my constituents that although the election was rigged, we did indeed get a new round bail feeder.” Taz states that because ‘shenanigans’ are not only supported but encouraged, he was unaware that false elections and ballot tampering were frowned upon at the ranch and insists that some of the blame should fall on the SDYR people for failing to put these specific guidelines in the Code of Conduct Handbook.
Taz, in compliance with his sentencing, will be moved into Sampson’s herd, with the hopes of better behavior as a result of stronger leadership.
Sampson, as expected, responded well to the new commission, “I look forward to bringing Taz under my wing and will do my best to ’sharpen’ him. This no doubt will be a mountainous task but I do enjoy his sense of humor and overall see a lot of potential in the Appaloosa” said Sampson. Taz has promised to bring a reformed and humbler version of himself to the new herd and is hopeful for a peaceful transition. “I look forward to this time of reflection and self improvement.” says Taz “In the paraphrased words of George Washington, ‘If you esteem your reputation you will associate with those of good character.’ Taz continues, “As soon as my dues are paid, and my name is in good standing, I plan on putting my hat in the ring for the ‘official’ 2013 elections.”
In other herd news... The fall de-worming and hoof trimming went on with out incident. Thanks to Bobby Hill and Justin Fry. The Grain is back and we are all working hard to fatten up for the harsh winter weather. I just love the fall! Our winter coats are all coming in nicely, I’m not usually one to brag, but I am looking particularly good this year. Wrapping up, I'll be looking into the rumors of stalls and shelters and hope to have more new for you in the next Stable Stories. From Everyone Equine here at SDYR, I’m Freida May... Good Day.